Chapter 18: Fading Shadow

"I'm sorry, Kreis."

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I wanted to meet my little brother," Kaelor said sadly, "but I didn't know it was gonna cause so much trouble. Kieme and my mom were both crying. And I made you confused."

Kreis shrugged. "It's not just you. I'm confused about a lot of things."

"Everything I've heard about reality seems kind of confusing," Kaelor said. "Everyone's always hiding. They're afraid to tell the truth. They just make things more complicated and unhappy."

"You have to be careful about what you say," Kreis tried to explain. "There are consequences to everything. You could hurt someone, or they could you. There can be misunderstandings-and times when someone simply can't understand or accept the truth."

"I hate secrets," Kaelor complained. Kreis wondered if he'd been listening. "It seems silly for reality to be built upon a lie."

"It isn't!" Kreis protested.

"Oh, not yet, but it will be. I've been watching Triana's dreams. No one said I couldn't tell you about that."

Oh, then what did "they" say you couldn't tell me? Kreis wondered. He considered asking it-Kaelor might even give him an answer. The boy-man?-was strange enough...

"People dream about the things they love and hate," Kaelor continued, not really even speaking to Kreis. He was looking sad and wistful again, dreaming of escape from the surreal cage that confined him. "Their hopes and desires...the feelings that sleep in their hearts. I can know people by watching their dreams, and understand them better than they understand themselves. They lay themselves bare before me, even the things that they hide from themselves. I may not know your world, but I know the people in it."

"Can you tell me what I'm hiding from myself?" wondered Kreis.

Kaelor nodded. "You want more than anything to know everything," he said. "You want to know the reasons that drive people's thoughts and actions. You want to know the reasons for your own feelings, and when you can't understand them, you disregard them. But they're still there, hiding inside you, waiting for the day they can seize your soul."

"What kinds of feelings?" Kreis asked uncomfortably.

"Love. Hate. Fear. The emotions that rule most people. You go from one to the other, it seems. You love your mother, and yet you hate her for abandoning you. You hate and fear the Queen of Shadows, although you are friends with Kieme...you love Triana, but you hate the way it feels to be tied down to her. You fear love itself."

"Enough," Kreis said, softly but fervently. Kaelor stopped.

"Yes," he said. "That's why you hide these feelings. You're the one who asked me to tell you, though..."

"Love is such a stupid thing to be afraid of," Kreis said, trying to deny his brother's words. "I'd love to fall in love. It would be wonderful to be loved by someone..."

"Are you so stupid that you don't see how you are loved?" Kaelor shouted. "You have the love of our mother, who watched over you from a distance to see that you were taken care of. You have the love of Faradine, who raised you and loves you as her own child. Triana loves you more than anything else in this world. And you even have her love, and you don't care at all...the woman who I would have loved, and would have loved me, were I not trapped in this prison for an eternity."

Kreis stepped back, afraid of this new rage building in Kaelor. He wondered what toll had been taken on his brother after eighteen years in the dreamworld, and if he would ever be able to adapt to life outside of it, were he given his freedom. "She has given you everything, and yet she is the one that you hate the most of all. It isn't fair that while I am trapped in this place, the world-your world-will be..." Kaelor didn't finish.

"You shouldn't be here," he said. "If I look at you again, I will tell you everything, and Kieme will never forgive me."

*

The next morning dawned rainy and dark, and Kreis awoke to the sound of rain on his roof and windows. He lay there in the dreary gray light, wondering when he would actually see the Queen. Kieme had seen that everyone was put up comfortably in the palace, which was still under construction. A hot bath had even been provided for him last night, and breakfast brought to his room in the morning.

He ate the meal provided for him and dressed in clean clothes, glad to be in such a nice place but warning himself not to feel too at home here.

A knock on the door. "It's Kieme," a voice outside announced. Kreis opened the door. What does she want?

"Um, hello?"

"I came to say good-bye to you," Kieme said, giving him a wan smile. Her voice still had its sarcastic edge to it, though. "I guess this is it. Try not to shed too many tears."

Kreis felt an odd feeling in his chest. How was he supposed to feel about this? Neither friend nor enemy...he reached to undo the clasp on his necklace, the chain that held both the ring and the locket...

"Keep the ring," Kieme told him softly. "Because I still haven't kept my promise. You'll find out, but I..."

Kreis returned a smile just as faint as Kieme's. "I still owe you for Triana's gift, don't I?" he said, sliding the ring off the chain.

"Hm." Kieme looked at the offered ring, and remembered the first time that it was offered to her. She probably was the same age then that Kreis was now...

Hah. Five years? That's not much time at all...

"Keep it," she told him. "It...has some unhappy memories tied to it."

Promises don't last. No matter how much of your heart you pour into them when they are made...in the end, they're always broken.

Kreis stared down at the ring in his hand. "My maiden name was Naraleyn," Kieme said, her voice distant. "But I took Rondin's last name when I married him. I don't think it suits me...but sometimes you can't turn back. Fate has given us each our own roads to tread..." she drifted off. "Take care of yourself, Kreis Delamuir."

Before Kreis realized what was going on, Kieme's hands were on his face, and her lips were on his. He froze. Triana had kissed him before, but never in such a fashion...he'd never had someone else's tongue in his mouth before. The ring fell from his numb fingers to the floor. Kieme released him after what seemed like eternity but was really probably only a few seconds, and Kreis stared, as if under some spell. Was Kieme actually crying?

"...Good-bye, Kieme," he said.

"Farewell, Kreis," she replied, and left him. Kreis didn't watch her go. He closed his eyes-they hurt, stinging for no reason. He probably needed more sleep...or at least sleep more restful than time spent with Kaelor. She acted like I was never going to see her again...

She was married to Rondin Aemonstane? That explains where the ring came from, and her feelings about it...but Naraleyn? The same woman who married the King of Thieves? What else has she been hiding from me-from us-all this time?

The person to ask would have to be Re. He knew Kieme better than anyone else, and she seemed to like him...although Kreis supposed that she must have feelings for himself as well, as she had just shown...Kreis touched his lips. What was he going to tell Triana? Though she doesn't own me...and I've never wanted her to...

I'm free, he thought. Free from the Abbey. If I wanted to do something with Triana, I could. We could do whatever we wanted. So why don't I want to?

Because she's too much like my sister, Kreis realized. We're like twins, born on the same day and everything. I love her dearly, but...I never could fall in love with her. He felt rather guilty over the realization. She wasn't going to be happy about it, either, but she would manage. She'd meet the actor again, or some other man, and her infatuation with Kreis would come to an end.

And we'll both be able to breathe a sigh of relief.

So what would he do, then? Love was the last thing he should be worried about now-he'd come to Thaliron for a reason. He couldn't think about Kieme now, or about whatever crazy things that his brother told him in his dreams.

Today, at long last, he would face the Queen of Shadows.

Good-bye, Kreis. Kieme wiped her eyes, quite disgusted with herself. The feeling had always been there, but it had been growing ever since she met the man. Soon, he would find out everything about himself...the truth about his mother, Kieme, and the Queen of Shadows. The way she had lived for the years since she left home would come to an end-her part in this drama was nearing its end.

Is this what I've lived for? Kieme wondered. "To bring about the era of peace, Elorhe shall first be bathed in the blood of the wars of unification. A great sadness and shadow shall fall upon the world. But shadow shall turn to light, and sadness to joy, clearing the path for one who has not stained his hands. The son of the crane and brother of the dreamer will take his place and bring lasting peace to the new world." That is the prophecy spoken by Linde to Tarin on her deathbed, and Kreis is the one who's supposed to do it.

After the dirty work is done for him. Kieme continued walking through the halls, the few servants who passed by her bowing as she went. She paid little notice to the ones around her; she had other things on her mind.

Yes, say good-bye, Kreis, to the Kieme that you know, because you will never see her again. She opened the door to her room, and her dress was already lain out on her bed. To her surprise, Tarin was there as well.

"Welcome home, your majesty," she said.

The King's wife-even if he was only a king of thieves-becomes a Queen. And her sadness calls her to take on a new name-Aradinea Osareon-the Queen of Shadows.

But the time has come for shadow to turn to light...