Episode 22: Building a Storm

"There’s a storm coming," Kreis said. "We should go in."

"The storm has been building for a long time," Kieme replied. "There won’t be much left to destroy."

"Why should I have let you die?"

"I was ready to die. The world is waiting for you, now, to bring it peace." She started to walk back towards the palace.

"How can you talk so casually about it?" Kreis walked around her to face her, although she continued to avoid eye contact. "Everyone was worried about you. When I thought you were gone, I--Kieme, did it ever occur to you that someone might care about you?"

"Do you have any clue what I’ve been through?" Kieme snapped at him.

"How am I supposed to know if you don’t tell me?"

"Do you really care that much?"

"Didn’t you promise me you’d tell me everything?"

Kreis and Kieme were face to face, trying to stare each other down. Kieme breathed in deeply and admitted her defeat.

"I owe you my life, now," she said.

"All I want is to know who you are," Kreis replied. "Isn’t that the reason I came all the way to Thaliron?" Kieme looked down and nodded. "Let’s go in."

"Wait a moment," Kieme said, covering a cough. Kreis realized she was breathing heavily, just from their walk down the hill. She shivered in each gust of wind.

"You still haven’t recovered," Kreis said. Kieme shook her head.

"I’m fine," she said. "I just need a little rest, that’s all."

Kreis put his hands on her shoulders. "You’re shivering," he noted. "We should get in."

"I’m fine," Kieme insisted, trying to shake him away. "Don’t worry about me."

"What’s wrong? I just...care about you."

Kieme looked aside. "Why?" she asked. "I’m the Queen of Shadows. I’m a crazy woman obsessed with ruling the world. I’m terrifying and evil, and I have no soul. No one cares about me."

"I do." Kreis leaned down to gently kiss her forehead. Kieme clenched her fists and teeth, suppressing feelings that burned inside her. Why would Kreis say such a thing? What did he want from her? Could it be that he actually did like her?

"Let’s...go in," she said, her voice dull.

They went to Kieme’s rooms, where she wrapped herself in blankets and sat on her bed. Kreis took a seat on a chair and asked if there was anything he could do for her.

"I’ll be all right," Kieme replied. "Don’t treat me like I can’t take care of myself."

"Oh, so it’s below the Queen of Shadows to ask anyone for help?"

"There’s no need to make a joke of it."

"It’s quite a joke, isn’t it?" Kreis wasn’t laughing. "The fact that you kept it from us all this time. We were coming here to meet the Queen of Shadows, when the person we wanted to see was with us all the time. And we never even suspected! When it comes to acting, you could probably give Gregan a run for his money!"

"With the way you talked about the Queen of Shadows, could you blame me?" Kieme snapped back at him.

"You made promises to me and broke them. You tried to throw your life away!"

"But you pulled me back," Kieme replied. "To hold me to my promise, I suppose."

"It’s not just that..." Kreis drifted off, then turned stern again. "I need to know everything. Now, before any more time goes by. You have to tell me..."

"I know..." Kieme’s voice was like an echo of itself, as if she had lost her breath from arguing. She looked so fragile now, compared to when he’d met her. She couldn’t have had any clue of the thoughts that had gone through his head during the last week...

Kreis's reaction to Kieme's apparent death was no secret, but Kieme had been in no position to listen to rumors. It had been two days before she’d regained consciousness, and three more before the healers would even let her walk. Her mere survival mystified everyone involved, and could only be attributed to Kreis's protection.

Why had he felt so ripped apart when he thought she was gone? Why, then, did he run away from her bedside as soon as she regained consciousness? What was he so afraid of?

"I guess it begins when I was born," she said, after a moment to collect her thoughts. "Back on Earth--I don’t remember that much about it, I was five when we were exiled. Then my mother was killed when I was eight, and I lived with my grandfather--my own father left my mother and me when I was a baby. My grandfather had been a soldier--a general back on Earth, a long time ago--and he taught me everything he knew. Because of that, no one would mess with me; I didn’t have a lot of friends, but I was a good, pretty normal kid.

"Until my town fell to the control of Duan--a man who claimed to be the descendant of nobility on Earth, and decided we should all fall under his control. He forced our people to build a castle for him, and we were all to work and serve Duan and call him Lord. He was a cruel man, a selfish man--but he probably couldn’t help what he was brought up to believe…" She closed her eyes, her tone of voice guilty and repentant. "Everyone feared and hated him, but he had us under his thumb, and hired mercenaries to keep us there."

Kreis nodded. "I know the story," he said. "I think everyone in Elorhe knows what happened…"

Kieme shuddered. "I wish I could forget," she said. "I…killed someone. We went to his castle burning with hatred, but it all faded when I stabbed him. I saw his face as he realized he was dying…I realized that it wasn’t a monster I had killed, but a man. I was a murderer." I can never wash that away… "I didn’t want to face anyone after that—not even Re—so I ran away. Five years ago…when I was your age. Sounds silly when I say that, doesn’t it? Like I’m an old woman."

"You’re not, though," Kreis said. "You’re not an old woman…and you’re not a murderer."

"Wait until I finish to decide that," Kieme replied. She started coughing, and Kreis started to stand up. "No—you don’t have to—"

"Are you all right? You sound…"

"I’m fine. The healer said it’s to be expected for a couple more days…it’s really not serious, Kreis, so don’t look like that."

"It’s not serious? You almost died, and you say—"

"I’m capable of taking care of myself, Kreis. That’s the way it’s always been. Please let me finish. I want to…keep my promise to you."

"All right," Kreis replied. "I just want..."

"I didn’t know what I would find in this city," Kieme continued, not letting him finish his thought. "I just knew that I wanted to leave everything behind and start over. I wanted to disappear, and I guess I did a good enough job at it…I got to Thaliron before the rumors did, but they did spread, and before I knew it, everyone had heard of Naraleyn’s rebellion. But I did my best to make sure no one associated me with that name.

"But one man figured it out, and he found me. Rondin Aemonstane, the King of Thieves and practically a legend himself.

"It sounds like such a romantic story, but I never loved him, and he never loved me. We were friends and shared beliefs, and he had a little girl, from his first marriage...Aradel. We were both disillusioned about life and love...it was more of a practical decision. Rondin wanted someone who could take care of Aradel, as well as someone to be his Queen who would be intelligent and useful. And it helped that he was good-looking, and I idolized him. He wanted to be more than a King of Thieves, he wanted to be the King of Elorhe, and bring an end to all the petty fighting between the power-hungry lords who had clawed their way to control. My skepticism vanished when he asked me to be his queen. The romantic side of being involved with such a great struggle drew me in, I guess.

"I met your mother around the same time. She was another colleague of Rondin’s, and she told me the story of your prophecy. I didn’t really know what to think about it but that Elorhe’s peace would come through a painful struggle, and someone had to bring it about. So I took my part. I married Rondin, and we worked and fought. A little more than a year later, Thaliron was ours, and we worked on converting a lord’s castle into a true royal palace. I couldn’t take much part in things for a while after that...I was with child."

Kreis gaped in shock. He remembered the name on the headstone, the short life that it displayed, and knew much of the story there before it was told.

Kieme continued calmly. "So I spent much of my time in the dreamspace, and Kaelor became my friend. I wanted desperately to free him, and Tarin and I worked on methods to do so while Rondin set out to conquer the world. She made two keys, hoping to close and open a portal, but they could not touch the dreamspace. For some time she’s been working on a third key, but it is futile as well. No one on Elorhe can free Kaelor from his prison." She coughed again.

"I shouldn’t put you through this," Kreis said. "I’m sorry..."

"What are you sorry for?" Kieme replied. "I should have told you...a long time ago."

"But you need to rest..."

"I’ll rest when I’m done. If I stop, I don’t know if I’ll be able to make myself finish the story." She drew in her breath, preparing to tell the most painful part of her tale. "Others...envied Rondin’s power, even among his own soldiers. While I was helpless, in my last weeks of pregnancy, they plotted and carried out his assassination. They would have killed me as well, but I had gone into labor and had gone to Tarin’s to give birth." She closed her eyes, and a tear ran down her face. She cursed her weakness. Of all the people to cry in front of...

Kreis stood beside her bed now, his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him apologetically. "I hate...crying...in front of people."

"Why? Isn’t it worse to cry alone?" Kreis sat down beside her. "It’s all right, Kieme."

"What a stupid phrase!" Kieme moaned. "I hate it! The more someone insists that things are all right, the more things are really wrong!" Her self-control was failing her, and her agony winning out. It had been so long since she’d let this happen, since she’d let her dispassionate façade fail her. Was it the fact that she had nearly died, or was it something about him?

"Sh," Kreis said, trying to be soothing but still somewhat afraid to touch her. "It’s—it’s not something you should worry about now. I shouldn’t have pushed you. I...I just want to help you, but I don’t know..."

Kieme looked at him. "You can hug me," she said.

Kreis hugged her, holding her shaking body against his. Kieme let herself cry, practically bawling as long-bottled emotions finally found an outlet. The husband and son she had lost, her own guilt and self-hatred...

"Even...after I knew...Rondin was gone, I still had my son," she murmured. "There was this new life in Korien, and there was hope. But...he was...sick. His lungs weren’t right, I think, and Tarin knew there was nothing we could do. I was already distraught when Rondin died, and when I lost Korien, too, I think I...shattered." She coughed again, and Kreis stroked her hair.

"Sh," he told her. "That’s enough. You don’t have to talk about it if it hurts you."

"No," Kieme replied. "I’ve got to...talk to someone. Even if it is...selfish..."

"You’re not being selfish," Kreis said, squeezing her gently. Kieme reminded him a bit of Triana after a nightmare, but his friend from Norana hadn’t lived through half as much tragedy as this woman. Triana was strong, but she tended to wear her emotions on her sleeve. Kieme, on the other hand, had no one she could trust to share her pain.

"I must look pretty pathetic," Kieme continued. "I’m sorry."

"Don’t apologize!" Kreis replied. "No one deserves to be miserable. Everyone needs someone who can help them through their pain."

"After what I did?" Thunder rumbled outside, the storm moving closer.

"Kieme..." Kreis choked. Was he going to start crying, too? "Don’t...hate yourself."

"Why shouldn’t I? You hated me, didn’t you?"

"I didn’t know you."

"You were right, though...what did you say? Killing to end killing didn’t make any sense?"

"Kieme, stop it!"

"I’m not going to commit suicide, so you can stop worrying. I’m not that selfish." She sighed. "In the end, I hunted down and killed everyone who had plotted Rondin’s murder. I took on the name Aradinea Osareon and became the Queen of Shadows, hiding behind Aradel and my grandfather as a ruler from the darkness while ‘Kieme’ was able to move around freely. And that’s the end of the story. You can go, now."

Kreis didn’t move. Kieme pushed him away from her. "I told you to go!" she shrieked, and went into a coughing fit that turned into more tears.

"I’m not going," Kreis replied. "I’m not going to leave you alone."

Kieme blinked up at him, her breath shaky from crying. "I...I wish..." The words came out sounding thin and choked, as if she were struggling just to speak. She let herself fall against him again, and the end of her sentence came out as barely even a whisper. "...I could stay...with you..."

Kieme closed her eyes, and Kreis sat there numbly, listening to the sound of her breathing. She curled up to make herself comfortable and fell asleep. It seemed rather odd for Kreis to think that the woman sleeping in his arms was the Queen of Shadows, the mysterious woman he’d hated and feared.

He wondered how he had managed to fall in love with the same woman.