Episode 23: True Feelings
"Dammit...dammit...dammit." Triana punched the castle wall, and then cursed again from the pain. Her knuckles colliding with the stone wall had not been a pleasant sensation. She licked her scraped knuckles and sighed, letting the tears drip down her face. "Dammit."
Triana let herself fall onto her bed, curling up around herself. At least no one can see me like this...she thought. But I wish he could. I wish he could see what he’s done to me. I wish he could see what he’s putting me through, just because--just because--
"It isn’t fair!" she whimpered. "I want to be mad at him--I am--but it’s not really his fault. It’s not fair, and there’s nothing I can do..."
Of all people, he’s in love with her. Now what do I do?
Did he even think about me? Does he even realize that he’s broken my heart? She clutched the necklace at her throat--the one he’d given her for her birthday--and then fumbled for the clasp. That bastard, that jerk! She struggled with the fastener, trying to get it undone so she could throw it across the room.
"Kreis, you bastard! It’s like you meant to trap me..." The clasp poked her under her fingernail, and it hurt. "Dammit!" She sucked on her injured finger, blaming Kreis again.
Someone knocked on her door. "Um...Triana?"
"Hold on a second," Triana said, shaking her hurt hand and wiping the tears from her face with the other. The voice on the other side of the door sounded like Amercy, and she had no quarrel with him. She sniffled, wiped her nose, and opened the door with a smile. "Hi."
"What’s wrong?" Amercy asked.
"It’s a long story, and I don’t feel like going into it right now," Triana replied. "What brings you here?"
"Well...it’s about...um..." He drifted off.
"Can you help me get this necklace off?"
"Um...okay." He fumbled with the clasp for a moment, and it came apart.
"Thanks," Triana said. "Do you know anyone who might want it?" she asked.
"No," Amercy stuttered.
"Oh well. Sorry to distract you. What did you want to talk to me about?"
"Um...a while ago, you asked what a Tresuan was. And...um...if you’re going with us to fight Lord Aden, you...should...probably know. Are you going, Triana?"
"Of course I am," Triana replied. "Why wouldn’t I? This Lord Aden of yours sent the dralions that killed innocent people, right? I have to get revenge for them."
"But it’s going to be dangerous," Amercy said. "Especially for you. You’re the one he wants."
Triana frowned at him. "What do you mean? I hardly even know who he is."
"I know, and that’s good. That’s what’s kept you safe for all these years. Um...Triana... a Tresuan is someone who can see the future."
Triana blinked; she sat down on the bed. "So you and those cousins of yours..."
Amercy nodded meekly. "We’re prophets, but our power is nothing compared to yours."
"So...what are you doing working for Aden? And why...why am I not?"
"The Tresuans have always worked for his family. You’re the only one who’s ever escaped... your parents gave up everything for you. Their lives, everything. They even abandoned your older sister."
"Oh my god," Triana whispered. "This can’t be true. How long have you known? Why didn’t you tell me?"
"I knew...when I saw you...you were the one he’d been looking for. But I couldn’t tell you. The fact that you didn’t know is what kept you safe for all these years."
"But...I don’t care! I can take care of myself! I deserve to know who I am, don’t I? Where I came from?"
"I’m sorry," Amercy said.
"Tarin must have known, too. How many people knew about this? Did Kreis know? I bet you told Kreis, didn’t you?"
"I didn’t!" Amercy cried. "I...I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. If you knew you were Tresuan, he could use your mind to find you, and where would you be?"
"How do you know for sure, huh?"
"Because that’s how he found me," Amercy replied, his voice eerily level. "I barely have any Tresuan blood, but since my father knew that he had it, Aden could find him. And though my father didn’t have the gift, I did, so he killed my parents and took me."
Amercy had actually raised his voice; he was breathing heavily and looked angry. "Amercy..." Triana began.
"I know it’s not your fault, but I always hated you," Amercy said. "The child of his Tresuan who got away. If Aden had you, he wouldn’t have killed my parents. If he found you, he wouldn’t torment me any more..."
"I wish you hadn’t gone through that," whispered Triana. "But...that’s all the fault of this man Aden, isn’t it?"
"I know that." Amercy managed a smile. "And...if he had you...he would be the one in control of Elorhe now, with that knowledge of the future."
"I will fight him," Triana said. "I will destroy him, so no one ever has to go through what you went through again. I’m sorry I got mad at you, Amercy...you’re right, you did what you had to. But now that I know, you have to understand that I can’t keep hiding. I mean, the guy could probably seek out my mind now anyway, right?"
"Um..." Amercy shifted his weight. "I think so."
"So we can probably use that to our advantage, right? I mean, if he can seek me out, we can use me as bait, or something. We should talk to the Queen--" Triana cut off and made a sour face.
"Um...Kieme knows, too," Amercy said, bracing himself for more anger from Triana. The young woman just rolled her eyes.
"Whatever. She and Kreis can do whatever they want, for all I care."
"Oh...I wonder..." Amercy drifted off.
"What do you wonder?"
"Um..." Amercy looked Triana in the eyes and swallowed. "I wonder if Re is jealous, too."
Triana opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She coughed for a moment. "I...I...I am not jealous!" she cried. "It’s not jealousy. I’m just angry at the way that he led me on and then dumped me!"
"You were...together?" Amercy said.
"Well...um...we kinda...in a way..." Triana coughed again.
"Are you coming down with something?" Amercy asked. Triana glared. "Come on, it was a joke."
Triana blinked. "You made a joke?"
Amercy just smiled and blushed. His smile was contagious.
"You know, Amercy, you’ve changed a lot since I first met you. It’s got to be Re’s positive influence. Maybe, all this time, what you really needed was a big brother."
Amercy turned redder. "Um..."
Triana began to catch on. "Okay...maybe not exactly."
"I don’t know," Amercy murmured. "I’m confused. I just...really, really like Re."
"There’s nothing wrong with that," Triana told him. "If we could choose who we wanted to fall in love with, there’s no way I would’ve been so infatuated with that jerk!"
"I don’t know if I love him or not," Amercy interrupted meekly. "I don’t know...about that kind of love, I mean. I just like being with him, and talking to him, and stuff, more than anyone else I’ve ever met. Not that I mean that I don’t like you a lot, because I do, and I do like talking to you, and I--"
Triana cut him off before he could work his way any further into a verbal knot. "I know," she said.
"There’s so much I don’t understand," Amercy continued, after taking a deep breath. "About love and friendship and stuff like that. You seem to know things, I was hoping you could help me."
"I’ll try," Triana said. "Not that I’m the expert on love," she added bitterly, "but...um...I think..." She drifted off, searching her brain for good advice and failing to come up with any. "I think you’ve really just got to follow your heart. I can’t tell you how to live. You’ve just got to live and find your own answers."
"That’s not fair," Amercy said.
"A lot of things aren’t fair," Triana replied. "It’s not fair that I got to have a normal life while yours was stolen from you. It’s not fair that people are hurt and killed in disputes that aren’t their own. Just making it and living for yourself is hard enough." Amercy nodded. "I’ve had dreams about a world that is fair, though," Triana said. "Not perfect, but better. Things are going to get better from now on, I promise. I dreamed it, and my dreams always come true. I don’t mean to sound condescending, but..."
"I’m still scared," Amercy said.
"Triana?" Triana looked up to see Gregan peeking in her doorway. "Oh, I’m glad you’re here. You’ve got to come right away."
"What’s going on?" Triana asked. Gregan just winced and looked at her apologetically, and the concern did not fade from his face. I’ve never seen him like this. "Amercy..."
"Go ahead, it’s all right," he said, moving towards the door. "Um...thank you. And I’m sorry I bothered you."
"You didn’t bother me," Triana called after him. "Gregan, what’s going on?"
"My sister," Gregan choked out. "Please come with me, as fast as you can."