Part 6~Let's Go to the Hop!

Darien was beginning to go a little berserk. He lay on his bed, tossing roses at the target on his door. He’d pinned a picture of Rini over the bull's eye and was launching roses right at her cute little nose.

"And I thought having to spend my future with Serena was bad enough..." he moaned.

"I heard that!" Serena said, jumping through his window. Little exclamation points appeared over Darien’s head.

"Hey, jumping really high was my special thing! Then, before you know it, Zoisite’s doing it, now all of the Sailor Scouts! What’s next, Rini?"

"You called?" Rini asked, hopping in through the window. "Mommy! Daddy! Let’s bake some cookies and have some valuable hours of family togetherness!"

Darien got a sweatdrop and snatched the picture of Rini off his dartboard. "Uh...anyone for a game of darts? I was just at the florist..."

"No, we’ve got bigger stuff to talk about," Serena began.

"Like what? Has the Negaverse returned? Do I get to dress up as Tuxedo Mask again? Please please please?"

Rini giggled. "Oh, Daddy, you’re so silly!"

Serena gritted her teeth. "No, like who’s going to take me to Homecoming at Crossroads?"

"Ooh, you’re going on a date? That’s so romantic!" Rini began. Serena clapped a hand over the little nuisance’s mouth.

"Uh...of course I’ll take you, Serena," Darien said. Do I have a choice? he thought.

"Good! I’ve got the perfect dress picked out and it’s gonna be soooooo romantic..."

"Oh my god, Zoisite, is that you? You’re...huge!" Lita said upon running into the ex-villain. Lita is not exactly known for her tact.

"Lita," Mina hissed. "It’s not like she can help it!" Zoisite pouted, and Malachite petted her head. "So, um, when’s the baby due?" Mina asked.

"Not soon enough," groaned Zoisite.

"You look fine, dear," Malachite said. "So, what brings you girls to the mall?"

"We’re looking for homecoming dresses!" Lita said. "I found the prettiest short green one! It’s sparkly and it has sequined straps and a black bow and..."

"It’s hideous, Lita! What the heck were you thinking?" Mina replied. "The orange one was so much lovelier, with the silver trim and no sleeves!" The girls got into an argument, and sweatdrops appeared over the ex-fiends’ heads. They walked away.

"So, what do you think of Kunzite as a name for our daughter? The name sounds strangely familiar, though I can’t place it..." Malachite said.

"That’s a boy’s name, silly!" Zoisite replied.

"We should think of something, dear. You’re due in less than a month."

"That long?" Zoisite whined.

"For the love of Pete, where is Zoisite?!?!?!" Mellotron screamed. He stormed about the room, fuming. Not only had All My Piglets been a rerun, his hostage had disappeared!

"That gosh-durned Malachite must have come’n took ‘er while you were watchin' TV," drawled Garth.

"This is it! The last straw! The final trick! The end of the charade! No more Mr. Nice Guys!" Mellotron began jumping up and down. "Come along Garth, we must finish this once and for all! This shall be the end of the Sailor Scouts, those durn Whatever-ite people, and good music forever!" His insane laugher was broken off suddenly. "But it can wait until As the Rotisserie Chicken Turns is over." He then sat down and stared at the TV screen.

Jadeite was sitting on his bed playing a wild accordion solo when Nephlyte came home. When he saw that the other general was home, Jadeite stopped.

"Play that funky music, white boy! Don’t let me stop you!" Nephlyte said. "Let the music play."

Jadeite played a few bars of YMCA, then went back to his favorite, the early Beatles.

"Oh, come on, Jed, the Beatles are so unhip. You can’t groove to their funky tunes, y’know? How about some Donna Summer? Or the Bee Gees? Or even ABBA?"

Jed continued "Love Me Do", ignoring Nephlyte’s comments.

"Are Beatles songs all you know?" Nephlyte cried in disgust.

"Well, I have been working on something new… get your guitar, Nephlyte."

"Okay…" his roommate replied slowly, getting out his guitar.

"Blues in C," Jadeite prompted.

"Huh?" Nephlyte replied.

"You’ve been taking guitar lessons for how long, and you still don’t know a blues pattern?"

"Oh, come on, that went out with the sixties. Disco is what’s really in the groove," Nephlyte argued.

Jadeite got a sweatdrop, then pocketed it for later use. Oh come on, he thought. The Beatles may be old, but at least they’re really making a comeback. But who wants to listen to the Bee Gees?

"Get with the times, blondie!" Nephlyte announced. "Blondie! That’s another band you could play!" He sang a little of Heart of Glass. "You dig OK?"

"With pants as tight as that, it’s no wonder you can sing that high," Jadeite sneered. He went back to that same wild accordion solo.

"These are loose, compared to the ones I bought today at a garage sale!" Nephlyte said, holding up a bag full of clothes. "And I got some stellar 8-tracks, too!"

Jadeite ignored Nephlyte’s ravings. "Y’know, I think I’m gonna play this at the dance."

"Oh come on, Jadeite, the Beatles are so lame. All the happenin’ chicks and dudes know where the groove is."

"Oh yeah? Then why didn’t they use some of all that extra fabric in their bellbottoms to loosen the rest of their pants?"

The two generals were staring into each other’s faces, growling, when Zoisite and Malachite came in.

"Down boys, down!" Zoisite shouted. Both Jadeite and Nephlyte stopped growling, and gaped at her.

"Zoisite, you’re--" began Jadeite. Her dark glare stopped him mid-sentence. "Ah, healthy baby you’ve got there. Big and … healthy."

"If she doesn’t get out of there soon, I’m going to lose my mind," Zoisite glowered. But her expression changed instantly. "Oh, she’s kicking! Isn’t that neat? You want to feel her kick?"

"Maybe some other time, Zoisite," Nephlyte said. Jadeite and Malachite nodded their emphatic agreement.

"Do you have a date for the big dance yet?" Serena asked Ami and Rei. Both shook their heads. "Well, I do! I’m going with Dari-chan!"

There was a moment’s pause.

"Hey Serena, what does ‘chan’ mean?" Raye asked.

"I don’t know! Don’t ask me, it’s just one of those Chinese things."

"Chinese?" Ami cried. "Come on, it’s Japanese! For a Japanese character, you certainly have no respect for your land of origin!"

"Speak English, Ami!" Serena cried. Ami got a sweatdrop.

"I was speaking English!" she shouted. All of a sudden, her aura was filled with fire. "I am so sick of you," she said icily. "You can be so stupid sometimes, both of you! Why does Serena have to be the leader, when she’s dumber than an ox and has less common sense than a broomstick? I’m smarter than all the other scouts put together, with room to spare! But no one appreciates me! The strongest weapon is that of intelligence, which the four of you lack completely! And I’d like to see you try to even use a computer! You’d probably just gawk at it in its superiority to anything your Stone Age minds could comprehend. You’re a bunch of vacant, boy-crazy idiots, and you’re lucky that I stoop so low to actually associate with your inferior beings!"

"Point being…?" wondered Serena.

"Nothing," Ami sighed, returning to her normal, placid self. "Never mind."

"Okay, we’ll forget it ever happened," Raye said, patting Ami on the back.

"So anyway, want me to help you find a date?" asked Serena.

"I think I can catch a boy myself," Raye said, marching off haughtily.

"Ami?"

"I don’t think I should go. I’ll get behind on my studies…"

"Oh, come on, Ames! You’re already six chapters ahead!" Serena whined.

"Yes, but I feel more comfortable if I’m ten chapters ahead . . ." Serena got a sweatdrop.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Mellotron gasped. "We’ve come up with a brilliant plan!"

"Dear me, not again," Garth replied.

"Shush and hear us out, Garth," Mellotron snapped. "There’s going to be a dance at a Junior High school, and the band playing is the former Negaverse Generals! Wherever they are, the Sailor Scouts are!" He whispered the rest into Garth’s ear.

"So, what you’re saying is, we crash their little party?" Garth asked. Mellotron nodded, then threw his head back in a malevolent laugh.

"This is the end of good music forever!" he cried.

"Ooh! Ooh!" Steveite gasped. "I’ve come up with a brilliant plan!"

"Dear me, not again," Queen Beryl replied.

"Shush and hear me out, my queen," Steveite snapped. "Your former Generals have formed a band, and they’re playing at a dance at a local Junior High. Wherever they are, the Sailor Scouts are!"

"So, what you’re saying is, we crash their little party?" Queen Beryl asked. Steveite nodded enthusiastically, but Klausite didn’t look so sure.

"Kill Malachite? But he’s so cute!" he cried.

"Well, we don’t have to kill Malachite, if you want him so badly—but the Sailor Scouts and the rest of those treacherous Generals are history!" Steveite threw his head back in a malevolent laugh.

Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of The Negaverse Strikes Back!